christmas brings me these thoughts
I know I haven’t blogged much these days, mainly because it had been a really busy semester. From time to time, I look back at where I am, and how far I’ve come. I tell myself to live a little more, and worry a little less. Have more fun. Spend more time with people I care about. Be a better daughter/sister/friend/acquaintance/stranger. Be calmer and have more composure.
If you died tomorrow, would you die without regrets? Based on your actions today, can you live with your self tomorrow?
The past 2 months was busy with school, finals, and some personal dilemmas. I personally have always tried to solve my problems on my own, and there were always people who knew when to catch me when I couldn’t do handle everything on my own. This time around, I had to do the catching. I had to draw my inner shrink and muster all my potential as a crutch. I listened. I tried my best to be neutral even when I knew it wasn’t going to be well received. I stayed positive for the three of us. I spent hours looking for the right positive statement to send during the ealier days. I had to choose which roles to play. Depending on the choice, you could help a person grow or cripple them even more. Because it’s never easy to say hurtful things to people that you love.
Given the recent events, I had to relive some of the past. I had to dig deep and remember the hard lessons learned, because there are many. And that was how I saw I could help best. And it occurred to me that I always hesitated to say things I find uncomfortable because they hit too close to my heart. So in my own fashion, I share these to you dear reader.
To my bestest friends, thank you so much for keeping me alive, and keeping my head above water. You are my happy place.
To the jebby tribe, we are living proof that distance relationships work (as les said so).
To the people I barely see but share the truest of friendships (you know who you are), we are connected in mysterious ways that I hope will last a lifetime.
To Mida, to me you are a big sister because of your old soul, a friend because you listened and have never judged, and even to this day, my Cuba.
To the people I work with, I don’t get paid millions nor love the deadlines but I love the challenges, and the opportunity to work with you all.
To la familia (cousinz, extended family), I am fortunate to always feel welcome in your homes, because eventhough we are not really related, we are family.
To my sister, thank you for taking my side eventhough it’s not necessary, for putting up with my crankiness when I’m too hungry, and for driving me around. You will always have my love and support.
To my mom, thank you for the silent support and for putting up with me.
To my dad, thank you for not asking the painful questions, and for letting me stand on my own feet.
To the rest of the people I didn’t specifically cite, no meeting is meaningless; everybody is tied by strings of fate; and for every moment we shared in the smallest of way, it is appreciated. The future me is the product of all the interactions with all you people.
And to close, I want to remind everybody that you are loved, relied upon, and well thought of. The world throws roadblocks, but it does not stop. The future is uncertain, and that’s where its beauty lies. Carpe diem.
Taste the rainbow!