a dream is an answer to a question you haven’t asked..

I slept over at the trio’s place last weekend. We woke up to perfect sunny skies, a slight breeze and muffled chatter from all the people outside. It was, in few words, a perfect day.

I left the trio’s place to walk to Chinatown and get a haircut. I missed the street car and opted to walk to the next stop, just to bask longer in warm rays.

And this scene stops me in my tracks. It’s not breathtakingly spectacular, nor is it any more beautiful that other people’s moments of spring, but I chose to stop and appreciate the scenery.

As painfully as the thought occurred might’ve occurred, it was like a perfect californian day. But this is Toronto, and for that I am thankful that such perfect days exist here. I am thankful that I am here, standing on this sidewalk, basking in the sun.

I am thankful that I am nowhere else but here. And that a few moments ago I was in the company of people I consider as family. And I know, that here is where I belong.

There will be days that I will be standing by this sidewalk, alone but hopeful. Someday, I will be standing on this very same sidewalk with somebody’s hand in mine. And that day will be the most perfect day amongst all the perfect days.

Until that day, I’ll continue to stop and admire the scenery. And given a few moments passed, I shall walk to where I ought to be. Because somewhere, there’s always somebody waiting for me.

I’m still alive. Barely. My blog’s not the only thing on hiatus these days. I haven’t seen the trio in more than 2 weeks. Save for Robbie, I haven’t seen anybody from work for a week. I have two weeks’ worth of laundry waiting for me. Busy? Now, that’s an understatement.

I’m just trying to survive this semester. I just finished 2 of my 4 final exams. 2 more to go, and I’m free for the summer. Freeee!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!

Today was my finance final. I’ve had hard exams, and really hard exams (UP days and very short hair cuts) before, but this one, just made me feel stupid. I can’t say I’m nuclear-scientist brilliant, but I’m not chopped liver either. But I actually think I failed this one. Finance, of all things. Sigh.

Dun get me wrong, I find finance interesting, and quite challenging. After all this years, its hard to tune your brain to be business or finance-minded. I’ve never taken a finance course before either, since it’s always pure and classic math that’s been always required with engineering or programming. But this exam has made me consider the idea that half of my brain must’ve died along the way or something. I understand the mathematical concepts, but the financial theories just won’t sink in, which is quite frustrating.

The more courses I take towards this degree, the more convinced I am that I had ADD. I’m finding it harder to concentrate, esp. on things that do not interest me, like the arguments between the schools of globalization theory, and enterprise resource planning. I always have my PSP handy because I find that if I feed the need for distractions once in a while, it’s less likely to build and totally distract me from what I’m trying to do. So I distract myself with Lumines and Gurumin, plus the occassional manga/manhwa.

But this finance final has gotten me all bent that after a quick chat with Louie while eating dinner, I had a quick Gears of War run with Belle which was sufficely disastrous considering my lack of practice (3 weeks of no-GoW). After which I had to blog about it and just rant.

The idea of retaking a university class.. It’s unthinkable! Me, retake fcking finance. The only consolation I have is that I had a great instructor this semester, and lucky me, she’s teaching Finance 300 again this summer. But I’m not really looking forward to that. I’d rather see her in the fall, for a Finance 401 class instead.

Now I have to brush aside my annoyance and frustration so I can deal with my next 2 exams. Oh, wait, I have a paper due on money too. Fuck. I must’ve been insane to subject myself to the rigorous tortures of being a University student when so many people just want to get out of school. Insane I tell you.

Maybe I’m spending wayyy too many hours cooped inside the house, but I’ve had some weird dreams lately. Not scary weird, just weird. But that’s for another blog post (ooohhh… the suspense!), which hopefully I’ll remember to write about before next week ends.